No Strings Theory
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By Mark R Filippi in Dr. Mark Published: Sunday, 07 October 07 - 09:18 AM (GMT -05:00) Last Updated: Thursday, 25 October 07 - 01:26 AM (GMT -05:00) |
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Stop & Listen >>>
Patterns Of Disengagement
PHYLO Lebron James
ONTO Marion Jones
ECO Manny Ramirez
The 4 domains we live in promote all the gooey stuff the New Age elite love to make a big deal out of like interconnectedness, wholeness and my favorite, authentic relationship. What doesn't make the self-help aisle are the way these domains disconnect. Recognizing how we unhook from the world, a task we can't concentrate on or a chatty neighbor helps you know which of the domains that relationship needs to be more fluid and functional for us...So let me describe how each domain takes a powder and you can do the rest...
The PHYLO domain struggles with disengaging the most since it's entire focus is the bonding process. So when you get a PHYLO type unhooking, it surfaces by fizzling and the exit is a zig-zagging stagger to the door. Now we can have this happen within a conversation or a career or something 'inside' us like the fizzling that happens when we try to break a habit. It's not a simple on/off.
The ONTO domain doesn't have such issues. When it's time to bolt, an ONTO will spike often manufacturing conflict just to seperate from whatever it is that is invading their space. But just as quickly as they erupt, that lightning bolt-like energy dissipates and there's a certain degree of amnesia about the whole thing. The phrase 'lose my number' applies to this form of saying later much!
The ECO domain, as is their signature, blends these two approaches into the most volitile form of disengagement, crashing. The fallout can go either way, so like a gambler on a run of luck, the ECO will push until their luck runs out. The damage that is left behind contains both the hard feelings and life lessons that the ECO will bring on the next ride on their 24/7 emotional rollercoaster.
Finally, the EXO domain gives us the only move to make when it's clear it's time to move on. They simply tank and submarine their way out of the picture. The mindset there is to not only avoid conflict, but avoid contact entirely. EXO's have been known to change jobs, leave cities and adopt aliases to get off the radar they feel is persecuting them. If you know one, this is not news at all..
For more on the neurobiology of this, check out Stephen Porges article here. http://www.stressrelease.info/media_artikler/polyvagal_eng.pdf
Five From Filippi
Professor Val's New Blog http://professorval.blogspot.com/
Self-Help Support Groups http://www.swiftselfhelpgroups.org/
Don Beck - Stages of Social Development http://www.integralworld.net/index.html?beck2.html
About The Physiologic Response http://consciousnessproject.org/page.asp?PageID=15
Seduction Labs: Body Language Myths http://www.seductionlabs.org/2007/03/26/body-language/
The Map Has Unfamilar Territory, MRF 10.07
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| The 8s | Val | 10/07/07 |
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Top | Reply to this Title: The 8s Author: Val (http://www.somaspacecoaching.com) Date Posted: 07 Oct 2007 08:50 PM (GMT -05:00) Mark, The link you posted about the Stages of Social Development piqued my interest probably because I teach developmental psych I suppose... While reading the article one thing really struck me. Having listened to the yet-to-be-released Somatic Companion 30-Day Emotional Makeover, I was thinking about the 4s and 6's you spoke about (ex: 4-domains, 4-second window.. then the 6 transitional states, 6 layers of the convesational arc). When reading the Beck article, I was thinking about the 4s and 6s again... Beck talks about 8s when it comes to Social Development Stages, Living Strata in our Psycho-cultural Archeology, Political Systems and Power Distribution, and Economic Systems and Resource Distribution Formulas... all 8s... and further, something I've taught ad nauseum, Erikson's Stages of Psycho-Social Development is also an 8. Is it a coincidence that there are all these 8s in the Social Development realm?
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